How to support LGBTQ+ teenagers - a guide for parents and caregivers

If you have an LGBTQ+ teen, you may be wondering how to provide them with the support they need to explore their identity.

Here’s a guide to help you.

Be supportive at home

As a parent, it’s important to create a supportive, loving environment where your child feels safe and free to be themselves. If they come out to you, take it seriously, and let them know that you’re proud of them for opening up. You may feel confused, worried, or even upset, but try not to express these emotions in front of them. If you feel you need someone to talk to,

confide in a loved one or seek out an organization that supports families of LGBTQ+ people.

Encourage open communication by letting your child know that they can talk to you about anything, and regularly checking in with them. Let them tell you how they’re feeling in their own words, and listen to them without interruption or judgment. If your child has decided to use certain pronouns, try to remember to use these and encourage other members of your

family to do the same.

Let your child choose when to come out to others

When your child first comes out to you as LGBTQ+, you may want to ask for advice from your friends and family. This is completely understandable, especially as you may be feeling uncertain about how to support your child. However, it’s important to be guided by your child, and to let them decide when and how they would like to come out to other people. They may want to come out to people gradually, or one by one. They may not be ready just yet. This part of their journey is unique and personal, so let them take the lead.

Be your child’s strongest ally

By advocating for your child outside of the home, you can build their confidence and help to create a safer, more supportive world for them. Find out about their school’s LGBTQ+ inclusive policies, and address bullying or discrimination when you can.

Show your child that you’re an ally by supporting LGBTQ+ businesses and organizations, staying up to date with current LGBTQ+ issues, and adding your voice in support for the community. Show them that being part of the LGBTQ+ community can be joyful by involving them in Pride celebrations, identifying positive queer role models, and sourcing books that feature strong LGBTQ+ characters.

Learn as much as you can

Supporting your child may mean you need to learn and grow, especially if you’re not familiar with LGBTQ+ issues. It may help to talk to parents of other LGBTQ+ children, and you could also seek out resources and organizations that support young LGBTQ+ people and their families.

Your child may ask questions that you can’t answer, and you might find some concepts confusing. This is perfectly normal. Being a parent to an LGBTQ+ child (especially if you yourself are not LGBTQ+, or haven’t engaged much in the LGBTQ+ community) doesn’t mean being an expert on all the issues they might face, or always getting everything right. You don’t have to be the perfect parent - instead, be a source of comfort, safety and support while they explore their identity.

For more advice on supporting the LGBTQ+ community, reach out to your EAP. An EAP counsellor can support you while you are supporting others.